Four of my single friends have suddenly become half of a romantic couple in the past two months, and I have no explanation for this sudden surge in coupling activity. Perhaps they were all prematurely reacting to the ushering in of the new spring season, which is commonly known for green things budding, things getting warmer and people falling in love.
Coincidentally, all four of these couples are of mixed race, so sometimes I feel like my social circle is hosting the United Nations convention of interracial dating. The list of romantic ethnic couplings are as follows: a Chinese American girl dating a Caucasian guy; a German-Hispanic girl dating a Korean guy; a girl of Native American, Caucasian and Black descent dating my Chinese American friend; and a black girl dating my Filipino Japanese American apartment mate.
Talk about a diverse melting pot (or tossed salad, if you will.) Imagine how attractive all their theoretical offspring would be.
In an Asian American literature class that I took two quarters ago, a discussion on the romantic dynamics between a Chinese American man and a younger Hapa woman in a novel excerpt culminated into a heated debate on the touchy double standards that exist within AAs dating outside of their own race.
It was probably one of the few times the entire class got so highly engaged in a collective dialogue, probably because it is such a personal topic that treads very perilously on the un-P.C. side of things. At one point, one Asian guy sitting in the very back row retorted that he couldn't care less about the White guys who went for Asian girls because "they usually go for the ones that aren't that good-looking, anyway." Ouch.
Perhaps one of the messy ambiguities that exist in interracial dating can be best summed up in one statement made by a Korean American female student in the class: "Every time I see an Asian girl dating a white guy, I get kind of annoyed. But when I see an Asian guy dating a white girl, I think, 'You go boy!'"
You go boy indeed.
People wouldn't really bat an eye if they saw my Chinese American roommate walking arm-in-arm with her Caucasian boyfriend; statistically speaking, we see Asian girl/white guy combinations all the time. But if they saw the other three couples in my social circle walking down the street, it's amazing! Because an Asian guy is dating someone who isn't Asian.
It's a stupid double standard that shouldn't exist if we really do want a racially harmonious society, but I'll be the first to admit that I participate in it as well. I'm not just happy that my Asian guy friends suddenly have a girl by their side; secretly, I'm pleased that they're also breaking down stereotypes, too. Every time I mention that my Filipino Japanese guy friend has a new girlfriend, I subconsciously take a dramatic pause to add, "Plus, she's Black," because in the twisted logic of race relations, that's an accomplishment.
Why do I bother doing this? Maybe it's because somehow being friends with Asian men who can date non-Asian girls is supposed to be a universal shout-out to all the Asian brothers in the world to not lose hope, keep your head high above the mass media's emasculation of your kind because damnit, one day this country will wake up from their ignorance and realize how sexy and manly you all are!
It's all very hypocritical, of course, not to mention extremely condescending. It's not like any of my Asian friends, male or female, choose to be spokespersons of their respective ethnic communities in the people that they choose to date. But even so, it's hard to reconcile the gap between the macrocosmic big picture of race relations and societal prejudice, and the intimate microcosmic universe of the chemistry that makes two individuals fall in love with each other.
I can go on and on about this and obviously, I have no real answers.
But I do know one thing for sure: God, I am so sick of being single.
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