We had just seen over 40 people audition to get into our Asian American theater group the past several days, and we were tired as heck. Although I say about 80 percent of the people auditioning for the coveted 14 spots were of Asian-descent, every now and then a non-Asian dropped in because after all, there really aren't any major theater groups on campus other than ours.
"I can also, you know, play the white best friend sidekick if you ever need one," one Caucasian girl wryly informed me and two other staff members when asked how she would be able to contribute to the theater group.
Now how many times do you see this scenario? A white person vying to get into a predominantly AA organization. Talk about reverse affirmative action. It struck me as one of those loopy "What-if?" scenarios used in cheesy T.V. shows. What would things be like if Asians took over America?
Perhaps a microcosmic answer to that question can be found in a university like UCLA - which, as everyone knows, really stands for University of Caucasians Living among Asians. UCLA is quite an Asian-friendly place to be, as it is located within immediate vicinity of at least four different boba cafes and boasting one of the largest AA Studies departments in the nation, not to mention a predominantly AA population (according to collegeboard.com, five percent more than Caucasians.)
There are many things you start taking for granted when you go to a university with a large AA population such as UCLA.
For starters, just by walking through the main campus you are confronted by a plethora of AA student organizations recruiting newcomers. Unlike those other schools with low AA student populations that have to settle for one or two generic Asian and Pacific Islander organizations, we have the luxury of catering to the most esoteric AA outlook.
Are you a Filipino woman interested in the nursing field? A Korean American with a penchant for hip-hop dance? No problem, we have it all!
Additionally, you can enroll in a wide variety of AA Studies courses, which means you get to be surrounded by progressive AAs who are all well-versed in the trappings of the Model Minority Myth and fume about "Memoirs of a Geisha" as another white man's yellow fever fantasy projected onto the silver screen.
Speaking of "Memoirs of a Geisha," while the reactions to the movie among my Asian friends at UCLA ran from the political extreme ("I think everyone should boycott this movie, especially AAs!") to the near-apologetic ("I know I shouldn't want to watch this movie because of its Oriental overtones, but ..."), I was too stunned to make any caustic comment about the objectification of Japanese women when several of my white friends started gushing about how much they wanted to see the movie because it looks so good.
This is what happens when you surround yourself with too many Asian people for extended periods of time. You get a sort of mini-culture shock when you go back to mainstream white America.
Honestly, I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand, I am probably less likely to encounter creepy folk like Michael J. Lohman, a Princeton graduate who was last year caught cutting hair off of Asian women on the Princeton campus and pouring his body fluids into their drinks.
Still, on the other hand, I am sometimes afraid that going to such an AA friendly environment such as UCLA blinds me to the realities that exist beyond the boundaries of campus life, and thusly leaving me wholly unprepared to face any place that isn't full of other progressive AAs.
I guess I'll find out for myself once I graduate from school and start living outside of L.A. Until then, I'll have a medium boba with Thai iced tea, please. And make sure the tapioca pearls are extra fresh.
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