Under One Roof — The Second Generation's Burden
Deferring independence, young professional APAs are increasingly bearing financial responsibilities for their parents.
Imagine just getting out of college and signing your name to one of the largest purchases of your life — a house on a suburban Los Angeles tree-lined street. Nancy Vo’s hands visibly shook as she scrawled her name across pages of legal documents binding her to a six-figure debt and three decades confined to financial shackles.
But at least the vanilla colored house with the wrought iron fence would be a place for all to call home — all meaning her immigrant parents, two brothers and two sisters, one of whom is married and living with her husband and two kids in the master bedroom.
The Vo family gives new meaning to the description of a full house. This one was bought by siblings ranging in age from 18-34, who worked and saved just to buy a house for their parents, not so much as a gift but as a necessity.
“We were always moving around and my dad really wanted a permanent place,” said Nancy, 27, who remembers moving three times in one year. Her parents worked in garment factories when they first immigrated from Vietnam, but when her dad fell ill over a decade ago the revenue stream steadily dwindled, and the siblings had to step up to the challenge.
Nancy says she didn’t mind turning over her savings. After all, it’s the burden of the second generation, isn’t it?
Historically, second and third generation Asian Pacific Americans have always been the bridges between two cultures. Issei parents relied on their American-born children to skirt the Alien Land Laws and many second generation APAs become unofficial translators for parents and grandparents. Now more than ever, second generation APAs find themselves inextricably bound to homes with two or more generations under one roof.
“I was happy to do it,” said Nancy, who is looking for an apartment. If she moves out she still plans to pay her share of the family’s bills.
A Home By Any Means Necessary
The number of American households with three or more generations living under the same roof rose 38 percent from 1990 to 2000, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
The more hands a family has, the better its chance of survival — it’s an adage that conjures images of a past era, but the plight is very much grounded in 2006.
To pay the bills for their three-bedroom house, the Trieu family has a payment breakdown based on income and age. Vince, a 28-year-old city employee, pays for the utility bills and 40 percent of the mortgage, his younger brother contributes 35 percent, his older sister puts in 15-20 percent and the remainder is shared by his mom and younger sister.
They bought the house in El Monte, Calif. four years ago, and now he’s looking for his own place.
“I sacrificed my savings and partially my freedom,” said Vince. “I wanted to move out, but with my contributions, it’s pretty difficult to do so. I would probably still have to make most (if not all) of what I pay now if I did move out. Now, since my brother got a full time job, he could take care of the utilities when I do get out.”
Vince’s longtime girlfriend also pooled her income with her siblings to buy a condo that four generations call home. The couple is looking towards the future while keeping family obligations in mind.
“Right now, I’m waiting for my younger sister to finish her school and get a job to help with the mortgage. So when I do move out, I won’t have to pay too much and it won’t seem like I’m abandoning them. My sister will probably be finished by the end of the year, so I will probably move out by the end of next year,” said Vince.
“I don’t resent anything. It was a pretty smart decision to buy the house when we did. The only thing I resent is that we didn’t do it sooner.”
Multigenerational Angst
For Nancy, privacy comes at a premium.
In the evenings, all activities come to a halt to keep the children asleep and in the early hours of the morning, bright-eyed nieces thunder into the bedroom Nancy shares with her college-age sister. Sleep is a luxury, she said.
Then there’s the tenuous relationship she shares with her elders whom she’s culturally required to honor and respect, but in such tight quarters and with overlapping responsibilities, nerves get exposed.
Multigenerational families living together can cause tension, experts say, especially in households where “adult” responsibilities like paying the bills are taken over by the younger generations.
“It’s strange sometimes. They try to tell me what to do, but I’m thinking, ‘Okay. This is my house,’” said Nancy.
“I can’t wait to get out,” she said, but added that her family is more cohesive than most. She counts her siblings as her closest friends and her candidate of choice for a roommate in a new apartment?
“My brother.”
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